A Wondering Widow Post
I recently had a conversation with someone (an acquaintance whom I hadn’t heard from in over a year) who was freaking out over something full of drama at work. She was spooled up, and I don’t want to diminish her concerns, but if you call me for advice you need to understand that my benchmark for crisis isn’t what it used to be and you may not like what I have to say. I’m happy to listen and empathize, but if you ask my opinion and I tell you it’s small potatoes, just remember how I got here. If you just want to vent, preface your bitch session with that so I understand my role in the conversation. Or, better yet, call someone else so I can focus on positive healing energy.
Old Lisa used to freak out about a lot of stuff. Recovering Control Freak, remember? New Lisa is a lot more chill. My new yardstick is pretty simple. Is <<fill in the blank with the potential problem>> worse than watching the person you love most in the world die a gruesome death right in front of you? If yes, freak out immediately ’cause that $hit is really bad. If no, breathe through your nose and mellow out. Whatever it is can be fixed or isn’t worth your time and energy.
Insensitive? Yes. What the hell were you thinking calling me, the grieving widow, about this? Oh, you mean me? Perhaps. And Old Lisa would have worried about that too. New Lisa says small potatoes. Life is full of disappointments. It’s also full of beauty and magic and wonder. Go outside and admire the sun or the moon or the stars. Look around you at all the blessings you have in your life. Go for a run. Do whatever you need to do to find perspective. Let yourself have a pity party if you must, but don’t stay there long. And maybe take a look at your phone tree and take a few moments to think before you call someone grieving to vent about your problems. We still want to be a part of your lives, but come on.
The Wandering Widow
P.S. Calling me to complain about your husband, who is still alive, will probably invite Hulk Smash Lisa to the party. Do us both a favor and don’t go there.
July 13, 2017 at 1:35 pm
Yes! I used to worry about such minor things. It actually drove my late husband crazy. Now I rarely worry about anything. In a way, it’s a relief. I wouldn’t be able to handle grief and worry.
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July 13, 2017 at 4:36 pm
Blunt, Honest, Direct. But Accurate and Perfect. Great message here.
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